First of all: Don’t pity me in the process I have been through the last 1,5 years. I have had a crazy ride – I went all the way to the top and ended flat on the floor and then yet a further disaster continued my loss, and I nearly gave up – but yet, still I am here, and I never felt so strong and alive as I feel now.

November 2012 I lost all my money and I also lost my house. I chose to concentrate my small amount of energy on my kids – just my kids. That was the best choice I ever did take in my life, because the downfall didn’t just end here.

While trying to pay my rent I was struggling with my dying mother who eventually died January 2013 – yes that is exactly one year ago now.

Here followed 3 months in a foggy and misty weird place I still have trouble recalling, where the only focus was being there for my kids – making them happy. But life doesn’t work without money – so people say. I couldn’t continue borrowing money from my best friends (these are times where you find out who really cares about you).

No question that I was going through my largest life crisis – having lost all but my kids, family and true friends…

So I gave myself one month, before I would surrender myself, and head back to Denmark and ask the government for help – yes, that is possible as a Dane. We are pretty lucky in this small fairy tale country.

A new opportunity

I was in vain but one single shot of opportunity passed by my nose, and I managed to grab that chance, wake up and show my surroundings, that I was still capable of performing better than most. And luckily the founders of a genius startup were able to see inside me and see my crazy spark. It has once again been a crazy startup time of my life, where I each day got to feel stronger and stronger – but it was still hard – very hard. I lost my mother; my only fix point in life that I could turn to and feel the true comfort and love, that I have realized I need in order to live. As in living happily.

But life continued. Having fun with my kids while creating great successes on a professional level, but still I needed something to fill up my heart. I was god damn struggling each and every day. Something was missing, something that I eventually had forgotten for many many years. In this process I decided that I want to move closer to my family and start out a new life. Nearest point was Israel, where my sister lives. Also, Tel Aviv has the highest amount of startups per capita in the world. So I had a plan, and that also meant that I felt that I finally got my “true” energy back and that I was ready to do something more with my life. I was moving to Israel February 2014. My self-esteem was back as well, and I even wanted to lose the pounds I had gained over my period of adulthood. So I posted on Facebook that I was looking for a personal trainer… which I did get. I already lost 10 kilos.

Soul mate

I got poked by an old friend on Facebook. Actually, 23 years had past since the last time we had talked face to face. And this person turned out to be a new turning point for me. I am not intending to go into much detail, but surely, this acquaintance has turned out to become what I will call “meeting my soul mate”.

I never knew before what it meant and I have honestly also laughed about it – I never believed it. There are many reasons to that – but for a short explanation, I never believed that I was able to meet my counterpart on so many levels. It is crazy and it is still also very new. But hot damn it is wonderful! And I even made a song about us meeting again.

The link is just a second take of the song, with my iPhone as a recording studio. But no worries, I am soon heading back in the studio again to record all the many songs I made the last 2 years. Here is the link:

And the lyrics (in fact the first time in my life where I made the lyrics before I wrote the melody):

This time I won’t let you go

You were just a little girl,
You are still that little girl,
But an extraordinary one that i got to know again
We found each other here,
Again, after all these years
This time I wont let you go

Now you’re standing here
Beaten up, and to blind to see
Forgetting that I, I can take you on a journey
It feels like a dream,
but coming true finally
This time I wont let you go

You are everything that I need to complete
You’re the one that I really need to achieve
You’re my fairy tale, my fantasy
You are everything that fulfills all my needs
You are crazy, you are fun, you are the one that tells me… Tells me to believe, we just need to believe…

Now I ‘m standing here
With a longer history
I think this is supposed to be
But do you agree
On a life that is ought to be
Free, if so – I won’t let you go

CHORUS: You are everything that I need to complete…

So many things to tell, So many things that could kill the idea of what life should be.
We’ve both been to what we call hell , but all we want to be: Is free – just free – and that’s why we need to believe.

CHORUS: You are everything that I need to complete…

Believing again

Basically, this has filled me up inside. That means I now have a feeling that I have gained back my perspective on what my life should be all about. I believe again!

And I am so ready to conquer. Now I understand why love is the far most important priority. Here I am talking about love to my kids, love to my girlfriend, love to my friends and family, and love towards what I do on a professional level and also my love to music has come back to me as well – which is an important part of being Stefan Avivson. People who have known me most of my life, know what I mean.

In fact, the last conversation I had with my mother, the last day she “was sane”, by the way being Christmas eve of all days in a year, was about her praying for me: That I should be me. She wanted me to do with my life what I love most, besides my kids. She said: “Stefan, remember yourself, remember your music and make yourself proud and happy”.

Let’s just say that THAT was a pretty good wake up call!!! It has just taken me a year to realize it and get myself into it again. But I am here now. All filled with love, compassion, music and an amazing amount of killer instinct. I am ready to conquer. I have taken control of my own life again and I am SOOOOO ready to rock and roll on everything I am passionate about.

Half a lifetime ago I made this song:

Take Me Home

There is a place where I can feel strong inside
There is a place where I can say
I won’t be lonely, I won’t be sad
I just want to be glad

Green green hills, blue blue sky
Paradise is s not where I long to go
For I wanna be, where I feel home

Take me home again
Or I’ll be gone forever
Take me home again
Cause I can’t stay here anymore, I miss the place I call home

There was a time where I could sleep every night
There was a time where I could say
I am not lonely, I am not frightened
And I have no reasons to cry.

Green green hills, blue blue sky
Paradise is s not where I long to go
For I wanna be, where I feel home

Take me home again
Or I’ll be gone forever
Take me home again
Cause I can’t stay here anymore, I miss the place I call home

Home again

And ladies and gentlemen: I feel home!

Half a life later, meaning today, I am finally home.


Therefore, I have decided to move back to little Aarhus by February 2014 and rock with my kids, rock with my soul mate, rock with my fantastic job and rock with my friends. Simply rock my life!

Have fun out there! – Because I surely will!!!

And now I am 36 and now the old fool looks like this:

OH. My favorite quote is Steven Tyler’s lyrics:

Life’s a journey, not a destination

Stefan Avivson