Confessions of a 14 year old boy | Stefan Avivson

I have discovered the most amazing memory in my entire life – honestly! It happened to me 3 weeks ago, where I was starting to go through my old songs. This was done in regards to this following weekend’s session with my old band members.

We have rented a house on Mols, in the mid part of Jutland in tiny Denmark, where we will be playing, rehearsing and recording the songs I’ve made the last year or so. I can’t wait! I feel like a little 14 year old boy who finally gets his dreams to come true – simply because I love music.

Speaking of the little boy…

When I was 14 I went to boarding school. It was a new era in my life, and I found myself in the rehearsing room almost all of my free hours – just playing music, creating music, playing all sorts of instruments – simply just being a really nerdy nerd (thank god we didn’t have warcraft or mindcraft). It was fantastic!

One day, I remember, I went into the music room, and I decided that today I wanted to make a song. Make a song about something that really had moved my life. Something that changed my life in essence. And – yes – I admit it – what really changes you in life is when life is given to you (when you get kids), life is taken away from you (people die) and – well – LOVE!

So, being 14 year old, knowing not much about love obviously, I had to take my small potion of experience and put it into a song. Okay, I’ll admit it. I actually only tried to be in love once at that time. I never got to have her as my girlfriend at that time, she rejected at that point due to circumstances that I can’t put here (but she said that maybe in 20 or 25 years we would meet again). So she was my first love, my first crush, and I wanted to write it down in words. To the story goes, that I did not see this girl for about 6 months, and I was really wondering what she was doing in her life… –  The lyrics were:

Where Are You Now?

Verse 1:
There were times, when we were thinking
of how it would be like
Then suddenly there came the day
Where it all ending up

Verse 2:
I said to myself, could this be right
or could this be wrong?
I just couldn’t, couldn’t realize
What love is all about

So where are you now?
I can’t see you
You’re far away, can this be true?
When will I ever see you?
When will I ever see you again?

Verse 3:
I just thought, it just couldn’t be right
This feeling inside, yes I’ve been there
And I know how it’s like, to be all left alone

This feeling inside to have a friend
No, I really wouldn’t mind
And there’s this girl that I’d like to say to
Say to her, I love you!


After making the lyrics – and the melody, which you can hear here ( – I felt a bit ashamed (!) – looking at the lyrics, I realized that I was WAY TO YOUNG to write stuff like that. So I merely changed the “now” with “all”, so the song was called “Where are you all” instead of “Where are you now” – because then it suddenly appeared to be a song about the group of people I used to live with, including a small crush, that is stated in the bridge:

“And there’s this girl that I’d like to say, say to her: I love you”

I believe it is the most beautiful song I have ever made, and the inspiration to it, was JUST her. This little girl that little nerdy Stefan was deeply in love with.

Anyway, time passed, actually time passed on very long. It took me 23 years, to let my life meet this little girl again, and without remembering my history, we fell in love and memories just keep coming back. Continuously.Me and my first crush when I was 12

This one, in specific, I find amazing. Because although I didn’t see this little girl for 6 months or so, I chose to write this song about her, and listening to the song still, I am very proud of what I was able to create as a 14 year old.

And I want to record this song once again, with the right understanding in the lyrics – the true lyrics

But what is more amazing and incredible is, that I am actually now finally able to say those words to that very special girl – now woman, whom I dreamed of saying those words to 22 years ago:

I Love You!

And I know where she is now, she is working, and when she comes home to me in an hour or so, we’ll have a nice and healthy dinner together. Can’t wait!